The Puurlee Podcast with Nika Lawrie

How To Overcome Challenges That Hold You Back With Dr. Jay LaGuardia

• Dr. Jay LaGuardia • Season 2023 • Episode 51

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In this episode recorded in 2020 , Nika talks with Dr. Jay LaGuardia, who has spent over three decades teaching the vital importance of balancing family, fitness, and finances to empower dreams, ignite passions, and accelerate prosperity. Dr. Jay shares his passion for helping others unlock their true potential through adopting empowering mindsets, healthy lifestyles, and belief in something greater than oneself. A successful entrepreneur, chiropractor, consultant, and philanthropist, Dr. Jay brings his extensive experience and insights to the table. He discusses the tools and tactics essential for achieving personal and professional growth, as highlighted in his best-selling book, "Change Your Mind, Change Your Destiny," and on his PowerPassionProsperity Podcast. This episode is a deep dive into unlocking the potential within to lead a balanced and fulfilling life.

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Nika Lawrie:

Hey everyone, welcome to the show. I'm excited to have you here today. We have a fantastic guest and I'm super excited to dive into the questions and just get knowledge and resource from him. So let's get started. Jay, welcome to the show. I'm so happy to have you here.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

Thanks, Nika. We're excited to be here and share a little bit of wisdom and just have some fun.

Nika Lawrie:

Yeah, I'm excited. So you have a really interesting backstory. Can you talk a little bit about some of the obstacles you've overcome hurdles, things like that to get you to where you are today?

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

Well, I don't know if we have time for all of them, but I'll try to condense it. Yeah, I grew up, not unlike most people, in a divorced family. What might be a little unique is, when my mother became pregnant with me, my father took off, and so I don't really recall him or remember him until later in life. We have a great relationship now, but, yeah, it started with a lot of anger and worthiness issues and things like that and worthiness issues and things like that, and so, um, as I, as I began to uh, uh, you know, in my teens, I became overly aggressive and a problem child and then it turned into. Then it turned into just, you know, incredibly negative.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

When I got into my twenties, I, you know, I was in chiropractic school and I met my wife there. She wasn't my wife at the time, but she became my wife. And there's those seminal moments in life that hit you like a brick and I'll never forget this one time I was out with some friends, I was playing ball, and I came home it was about midnight and every light in the apartment was on, which is so unique because she was an early to bed gal and I went to the bedroom and she was crying hysterically. You know that kind of cry where you know you would think she lost somebody. You know.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

And I was trying to console her and figure out what was going on. And she just kept pointing to the sink over there. And I walked over there and there was this well, I didn't know it at the time, but it was an APT test and it was positive. And uh, and you know, I thought she was crying, maybe because she was happy. And I come to find out she wasn't, because she was going to break off our relationship. And now she's breaking up, yeah, and um, and I said to her, I said uh, I said why? And she says I can't deal with your anger anymore. You know it's, it's too negative, too toxic to me and I love you, but I can't do this.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

And so that was a moment of realization that my anger was having impact on the people. You know, that meant the most to me. And uh, and, and I, you know, and I and I said to her, I said you know, um, if you give me a chance, you know I'll really work hard to to figure this out and and and be, you know, to become a better person. So so she, she did, and we got married and had her daughter, and, and then we got into business together and, as things go, when you're stressed, you default to your set point, which is anger.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

And we bought this business and it wasn't doing well because we were partners and it was affecting our marriage, it was affecting our relationship. So everything was on the line Marriage, family, business, and everything was on the line. And she said to me she goes. I would like for you to speak to this gentleman. He's a business coach and I don't have any other answers. And if we don't go this route, I don't know if we're going to make it so that okay, and we got on the phone and I began to tell him everything that was wrong, personally and professionally. It's kind of weird, cause I'd never done that before, especially with you know, an abject stranger a stranger, yeah, yeah,

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

You know. But she wanted this and and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and and and. All right, you know from a family of failed marriages. And so I told him everything you know is this is this data dump, and it was a very cathartic experience.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

When I got done, it was dead silence in the line and I thought he hung up or I bored the hell out of him and I said hello and he goes. I'm still here, he goes, I know what your problem is. I'm like, wow, I'm thinking to myself finally someone's going to tell me the secrets of what I need to do to get my life back right, to get it in order. And he said to me Jay, he goes, your life and your business is waiting for a leader to show up and it's not you. Oh my gosh.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

It was the first time anybody really and again a stranger right had told me a connoisseur for who I was.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

It was the first time I had to literally look in the mirror and realize everything that was existing in my life was existing because of the choices and who I was, and it was the first time I took ownership for that year journey into personal development and leadership and business and entrepreneurial skills and all those things. And the more I dove into it, I began to see changes in my life, radical changes, to the point where I'll never forget. One day I was experiencing at that time also some depression, and my wife said to me she goes, let's go out, let's take our daughter. We'll go to this bookstore and hang out. And I went in there and as if the hand of God touched me, pulled me to this section of the bookstore I hadn't been in before, but particularly to this aisle. And to the bottom of this aisle was a cassette tape. Now, this is back in the early 90s, so don't laugh right and it's a cassette tape from Deepak Chopra on the healing of meditation.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

They went home, bought it, went home, opened it up, listened to it and that began my journey into meditation and literally beginning to shift and change how I thought, how my brain is wired, and you know my wife will tell you that in a couple of years I was a completely different human being, and my employees said that, my friends said that, employees said that, my friends said that. And so again, long story in short is my life was a reflection of me. I didn't take ownership of it. Someone had called me accountability. I got introduced to meditation and everything else began to change.

Nika Lawrie:

That's such a powerful story, though I think it really kind of drives home how you do have more control over your life and the circumstances than I think a really kind of drives home. You know how you do have more control over your life and the circumstances and I think a lot of people actually realize they feel like everything's happening to them instead of them making those kind of decisions that really impact their life. It also really explains kind of your passion behind living intentionally and helping people find kind of conscious awareness. Can you talk a little bit about your experience with working with people on conscious awareness and kind of what that is? For those who might not know, Sure, sure.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

You know, one of the questions I'm asked often when people reach out to me is you know, I don't have a vision for my life. You know, I hear this thing about passion. How do you find passion? You know, I'm an entrepreneur or a business owner and all I have is a glorified job. It's something that I loved at first and I hate right now, and so, for me, what I realized in my own journey was is being present.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

And present requires us to be consciously aware of the thoughts we have, the energies we are putting out, and so a vast majority of us live on a loop. In other words, we're repeating the same behaviors and actions day in and day out, because we're not conscious, and so, therefore, we attract the same people, the same relationship, the same lack of opportunities, the same bad employees, the same average business year. And I began to take stock and be present in the thoughts I was having each and every day. And it's hard at first to be intentional, to stop, reflect and think and ask yourself how am I showing up in this moment? Am I showing up as I want to, as I desire to? And if not, how can I change that to show up at my best self, absolutely. As I began to practice this, the results were remarkable and, in a world that celebrates disconnect, distraction and mind numbness, to me this is one of the true skill sets to finding joy and living happy and being intentional.

Nika Lawrie:

Absolutely. I think it's a skill set that's not taught to us that we really should spend more time investing in and learning how to do. What are some of the things that you've found that were useful when trying to break those habits or those kind of unhealthy routines that you were in At first?

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

I didn't have a term for it, but I call it my one-minute mindset shift, to break those habits or those kind of unhealthy routines that you were in. At first I didn't have a term for it, but I call it my one-minute mindset shift. It's simple but it's incredibly powerful. So again, let's say I'm preparing for a meeting and I feel anxious about it. I'm going to meet with a partner or a client or sales or whatever the case may be, and I'm feeling a sense of anxiousness. So feeling, or identifying the feeling that I'm having, is step number one. Acknowledging the feeling that you're experiencing so anxiety, stress. Step number two is identifying where you're feeling. It is identifying where you're feeling it.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

Dr Joe Dispenza said he said thoughts are language of the brain and feelings are language of the body. So when you have a thought, it manifests itself physically. So if you're having a low tone, like an anger or anxiety, it manifests physically. You can feel it in your body. Everyone knows what it feels like. Even if you can't describe, you know you want to feel like. So acknowledge it, identify where you're feeling it. And then the third step is how do you choose? By the way, it takes a lot longer to tell you than it is actually to do. So the third step is than it is actually to do. So the third step is how do I want to feel going into this meeting.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

I want to feel calm, serene and confident, right and authentic. Okay, so step number four is remembering a moment in your life when you're in an event where you just felt calm and peaceful and confident, and anchoring it to that memory. Now here's the magic Once you shift your thoughts because you can't have two opposing thoughts at the same time your body creates the physiological response that mimics and supports the new thought that you want to have, and it literally takes one minute to make that happen.

Nika Lawrie:

I think that's such a powerful kind of really straightforward example of how you can actually manifest that change inside your body. I love that. I think that's such a powerful thing. Are these tools that you've also used kind of to create your businesses and become successful in your business? Is really focusing on those mindset shifts? What are some of the keys that you've used in order to be successful in business?

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

Yeah. So, whether it you know, I own a string of clinics. We have a very successful property development company, the consulting, we own health studios. So we're really entrepreneurially as a family. But that's one of our core values as a family is an entrepreneurship and serving others. So I really dialed it into four key aspects in business. I call it our entrepreneurial mastery system, and number one is building a success mindset. Businesses follow people. Your business will never outgrow you. So if your business is stagnant, it's likely you're stagnant.

Nika Lawrie:

Right yeah.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

Number two is becoming a dynamic leader, and I don't mean somebody who's outspoken and gregarious, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about somebody who's humble, who's vulnerable, who's transparent, who identifies and acknowledges when you don't have all the answers, and reaching out to people, building a great team. Number three is developing a success plan. So many people just wing it right and the mind is target oriented.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

So if we're not moving towards something, we become stagnant, and the universe only moves in two directions forward or backwards so we may think we're at a place in time and you may be at a moment in time, but if you think you're staying there, you're under the illusion because you begin to regress. So having a success plan Number four is building a winning team, highly skilled individuals, and I empower them to do great things, task them and then allow them to run with it. In other words, don't micromanage them and by doing that, tying them to a purpose and a passion that we all can rally against man. The energy and the exponential growth that you can experience is pretty remarkable. Number five is systems and processes. Any great business has got to have solid, sound systems and processes. If not, they create constriction points within your business.

Nika Lawrie:

Right.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

Number six is strategic marketing. You know you got to get your message out and make sure that that message is congruent with your you know product or service. And number seven, of course, is maximizing profits. So it's simple but it's very elegant and being able to translate that to any business. That we've done and it works in any type of business.

Nika Lawrie:

So, with running all these businesses, especially with them being as successful as they are, how have you managed to find balance between work and life? I mean, it seems like it'd be kind of crazy.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

That's a wonderful question and elusive to many people.

Nika Lawrie:

Yes.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

Yeah, and so I'm going to really simplify it for you. I make it a priority. I just make it a priority. My health is a priority to me. It's a priority to me because not only do I need to be congruent in my thought and action, but if I'm going to lead you and teach you these skills, I got to be an example of that.

Nika Lawrie:

Right yeah.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

But plus because I enjoy it. It's fun, I like the way I feel and I want to live till I'm a hundred, so I have to invest the time now.

Nika Lawrie:

My goal is 105. So you believe it Right, love it, we'll get there, yeah.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

I love it and in in the other aspects, right, um, some people have great businesses and their health is crap and they're on their way to divorce, and vice versa. They're really healthy, they've spent a lot of time in their fitness, but their business is struggling. I look at that as it relates to I need to have a really strong foundation at home with my wife, with my kids, who are older now, but making them but you know, making them the number one priority. When they're the number one priority, you know, when I'm in the office, my number one priority is my focus on my drive and my business.

Nika Lawrie:

Right.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

When it's time for family, I'm not focused on my business. I don't take it home. I'm very good at compartmentalizing and sometimes that's hard for people yeah yeah, and then and then that you know.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

The third aspect is, you know, expanding your, your financial education. You know it's not taught school mindset stuff is not taught in school. So unless you went to school specifically, you have to invest time to educate yourself about money and how to use money. So every day I engage in all of those not to the same level, I don't spend equal amount of time in each one of those areas, but I spend time in each of those areas and when it's time for my fitness, for my family, for my business or finances, that present time consciousness, that's what I focus on. I don't let the others bleed into it. And you can, anybody can, have it all they really can, and that's the beauty of finding that balance.

Nika Lawrie:

Is this related to so? In your new book you talk about the formula of success. Does this kind of relate back to that and how is that connected?

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

Yeah, absolutely, and I love sharing this because the formula I did not develop, I added it to it. I'm a big fan of Richard Kiyosaki and I was fortunate enough to interview his CEO, former CEO now of Rich Dad Poor Dad Industries. Her name is Sharon Lecter, and Sharon turned me on to a book called Outwitting the Devil, which was a manuscript written by Napoleon Hill that his wife pleaded that he not publish before their death Because it was so controversial that she thought that they would be ostracized from their social network, oh my goodness, it's really a great story.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

And then she went on to run um Napoleon she's a CEO of Napoleon Hill industries and she saw the manuscript. She said we got to print this and so in I think 2013, it was printed. And she said if there's one book you got to read this. You got to read this book and I did and awesome book, anyone has to read it. So he wrote it in the 30s, but you wouldn't know if he wrote it yesterday.

Nika Lawrie:

It's even more applicable to today's society than probably was in the 30s.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

Isn't that amazing? Yeah, it really is. And so he talks about this formula for success. So I asked Sharon. I said hey, can I share this? And I want to add one element that I humbly think is missing. She goes what? And I said T, and I'll explain what it is. So it's P plus T times A plus F plus T, so it's the second T that I added.

Nika Lawrie:

Okay, you'll have to break that down.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

I am, I am, I certainly will. So P is passion. Have you ever met anybody who's been successful, who's not passionate?

Nika Lawrie:

Not that I can think of, unless they somehow randomly fell into it or born into it. But yes, they usually need that drive.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

Absolutely so. Passion is such an important element to finding joy and happiness, and I want to clarify something. A lot of people have the misconception that your passion should tie you to some sort of financial gain, and it doesn't. You could be a great woodworker that you're passionate about. That gives you a lot of pleasure and joy. Now you could turn that into selling pieces and making money, but you don't necessarily have to. So I want to make sure I clarify with your listeners that it doesn't always have to turn into money, but a lot of times it does. Because you're so passionate about it, other people get attracted to it. So the first T is talent. You got to have some skill sets, right, yeah, if you can have all the passion in the world, but if you're not very good at it, people will not be attracted to it or certainly not going to pay you any money towards it.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

The first A is associations. One of the things I talk a lot about in my podcast is we are the sum of the five people we hang out with. Absolutely, if you're not constantly assessing who you allow into your inner circle, these people have the greatest influence on you. If they're not positive influences, it's going to impact you. Even if you don't think it does, it does. And then the second A is action. You have to be action oriented. Nothing gets done with you know you can have the greatest plan, the greatest vision, all the passion in the world, but if you don't get off the couch you'll never be successful absolutely yeah and then f is faith.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

Now, this doesn't have to be religious faith, but but it certainly can. But for me, it's really about faith in self. If you don't believe in you and your vision, who will?

Nika Lawrie:

Yeah, definitely.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

And faith will help you overcome adversity Because inevitably, no matter what journey you're going to face, you're going to run into obstacles, and it's the faith that keeps you grounded to figure out a way to overcome those obstacles.

Nika Lawrie:

Yeah, it keeps you kind of tunnel visioned in a way, so that you don't get distracted by the naysayers or other issues that pop up.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

Very much so. And then the last one that I added was T, and that's time. God's delays are not God's denials. You don't know. You know I may have a goal to reach, whatever you know, in two years it may come in four years. Yeah, Are you willing to put off and delay gratification to put the time and the effort and the grind in to get where you want to go? Sometimes you'll get there faster, but if it doesn't happen on your timeline, are you willing to stay the timeline to see it through? So P plus T times A times A plus F plus T In my life, always equal success, no matter what I do.

Nika Lawrie:

So the time part I really love too because I think you see it a lot with business owners is that they expected to be somewhere in their first year or their second year and then they feel like they've failed because they didn't bring in a hundred thousand their first year or whatever their goal was, and it almost seems like it deflates them from really moving themselves forward over the next couple of years. You really have to kind of manage your mindset around time.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

It's so true. And the fact is and I think a lot of entrepreneurs, when they first start, don't realize this, and this is why a lot of entrepreneurs, when they first begin, fail is because they're undercapitalized. Most businesses don't turn a profit until year three, so if you're undercapitalized, you're kind of in a rough spot.

Nika Lawrie:

Yeah, absolutely, and I think just knowing that figure kind of can motivate you to keep going, even when it's a little bit of a struggle, because you know at some point, if you keep going and you're focusing it on the right way, something will shift and you'll start to see, you know, the revenue come in. You'll have that kind of shift moment if you will.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

Agreed.

Nika Lawrie:

Yeah, so talk to me about the Triple P life. What is that and what are some of the common traits of individuals who have that kind of life?

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

So Triple P life. So just a little bit of backstory. I retired from active practice when I turned 50 and was fortunate enough, I didn't have to work. My passive income was able to sustain the lifestyle that we had created, and so I no longer worked in the business, I just work on the business, you know. And so I no longer worked in the business, I just work on the business, you know, because that never ends.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

But so I had this vision. I had a lot of people reaching out to me, friends and colleagues. So, hey, you know you've been very successful. Would you mind helping us or sharing? Of course you know you want to help your friends. And then I came to realize, a it was taking a lot of time. B a lot of proprietary information that I created that has a lot of value and I love helping them, but it cost me a lot of money to learn this stuff. So I turned it into the business, and that's when I shifted over into doing consulting. And one day I was meditating. It was actually like a day like today we're having snow today here in Wisconsin.

Nika Lawrie:

I'm jealous. It was actually like a day like today. We're having snow today here in Wisconsin. I'm jealous, it's sunny here.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

I'm jealous of you because it's sunny, yeah, but I was meditating and this thought, this voice kept coming inside. It's like you know, hey, you're doing well, but you're playing small. And I just meditated on it and I realized was is that, you know, the message that we have is a powerful one. There's a lot of people who you know who need some help, and and so I asked I just came about what are the three things that have been most influential in my success? And it really came down to, you know, empowerment, passion and prosperity. So the Triple P life is about empowering dreams, igniting passion and accelerating prosperity in every area of life. So the characteristics of someone who's pursuing a Triple P life is mediocrity, is a sin, mm-hmm. Constant, never earning personal improvement right. Fitness is a part of your journey, both mental and physical fitness we have to work on mental fitness.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

And there's. There's probably uh, I think we have 15 of them of common, common characteristics, but those are just a few. So pursuing excellence, of course, because perfection is illusion. Again, so many people get caught in the trap of starting a business or pursuing a goal until right time, I've got the money.

Nika Lawrie:

Yeah.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

It's all an illusion.

Nika Lawrie:

It'll never happen yeah.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

Those are just excuses to hold yourself back. So if you eliminate the perfection, just go for excellence, and that's all you can do anyway, you know, is do your very best. So those are some of the characteristics of a trippy life.

Nika Lawrie:

So how do you create your best life? Do the I mean, I'm assuming those characteristics play into that but what needs to happen in order to create your best life?

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

Um, it's um. First is is the humility of acknowledging that you don't have all the answers, right? I told you my story when we first got on is I realized the central core of all the issues was me, and it's because I was too arrogant to ask for help, right, I thought I could figure it out all on my own. I don't need help, I don't need a coach, I don't need whatever. And so it's humility to understand that you don't have it all figured out. It's vulnerability to be willing to look at yourself critically and to acknowledge where you may be struggling. And then it's a want to to grow. Nika, I found more people say they want to grow than more people do the things to grow Absolutely.

Nika Lawrie:

I see to grow Absolutely. I see that too.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

Yeah, and so it's about taking care of yourself, taking care of the most significant relationships and pursuing a life of service, and I find like again with our, with our every aspect of my life as it relates to the businesses have got to fulfill my mission that's inspiring people to live happier, healthier, more prosperous lives. Love that. It has to fill that mission and if it doesn't, I don't get involved in it. You know what I mean. And so that Triple P Life we talk about balance is simply engaging in each of these areas on a regular basis and committing to improving yourself on a regular basis.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

And the book, which is Triple P Life your GPS to Success is about how to do that and all the things that I've learned. I co-wrote it with my son-in-law how to do that and all the things that I've learned. And I co-wrote it with my son-in-law and it's kind of funny because it's you know, I'm in my mid fifties and he's in his early thirties, and so I've kind of been through a lot of the battles and he's just starting his journey, and so we come at it from kind of two different perspectives. And so whether you're early on your journey or a bit through your journey or midway through your journey, as I like to say, it comes from different perspectives and helps people, no matter where they are on their journey.

Nika Lawrie:

That's super cool. I'll make sure the link to the book in the show notes as well, just to make sure that's available. But I think that's an amazing thing to have that two-sided perspective because it really hits home with so many people at different stages.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

It's true and I want to make sure that people understand. We've never lived in a time before where there's people in their seventies starting a new business. There's people who are doing things now where we would think back a generation or two. You know, you got one foot on a banana peel, one foot in the grave. Life is so different. Now you can pursue and continue to pursue later into your life.

Nika Lawrie:

Absolutely yeah. So you talk a lot about daily success habits and the importance of being intentional in the things that we do. Can you share some of the examples Maybe you shared them in the book too but habits that we can have to lead that type of successful life and be able to start businesses in our later lives or have that kind of energy and momentum.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

Yeah, in my first book, change your Mind, change your Destiny the Eight Habits of Success, I talked about the habits, the mindset habits that helps rewire a brain, whether it's a brain that its most dominant thought is fear or anger, as it relates to guilt or self-sabotage. And so the most impactful habit is my morning routine Getting up each and every day and starting my day intentionally by meditating, clearing my mind, visualizing the outcome that I want to happen for this day. What emotion, what's the dominant emotion I want to live by? I may read something inspiring certainly, look at my goals. I do affirmations. So this morning routine has had the greatest impact on my success than anything else I've ever done Because, as I mentioned, I'm working on my mental fitness.

Nika Lawrie:

Right.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

And we have to invest the time in ourselves. I call our morning routine the greatest act of self-love you could ever do, and so many people suffer from a lack of self-love.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

Yeah they do If you don't love you, you can't't love others, so the morning routine is essential go, sorry, keep going yeah, no, I was just saying the morning routine is essential journaling at the end of the day I I acknowledge three things every day before I go to bed. One is um, something. I'm grateful for that someone and something yet to come, because when you give gratitude to something that you're focusing on, you attract it faster.

Nika Lawrie:

Oh, I love that. Yeah, yeah, I think you know, really keeping yourself in that positive perspective of, like you know, things may not be exactly where you want them to be, but there are so many good things happening right now, in this moment, or in your life at this time, and just really focusing on those good things helps you stay positive.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

Yeah, totally agree with that. And you know, I found gratitude to be one of the most important virtues, because when you're living in gratitude, you don't acknowledge or at least you won't as much as perhaps you normally do is the things that you don't have. So many of us focus on the things that we're lacking or we want, and there is so much to be thankful even in this crazy year we've been through.

Nika Lawrie:

Absolutely. You know as hard as 2020 has been and and how you know life changing it has been for so many of us. I know, for for me personally, I can still look at the year and know that I have gained a lot of clarity and focus in in my future. I've, you know, had the opportunity to spend more time with my immediate family. My daughter has been home from school, so you know, if you can shift your perspective on those things, there really has been a lot of benefits from 2020 as well.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

Yeah, I mean, you just have to look for them, absolutely. And the other thing too, nika, is we talked about this before about associations. But if you're hanging out with a bunch of whiners and complainers, it's not going to serve you and you only get caught up in that negativity and again like I said, you kind of get stuck into that mindset and the negative forces I've found are far more dominant than the positive forces.

Nika Lawrie:

Oh, absolutely.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

Yeah, you can get sucked into it. It's so much easier to get sucked into the negative forces. That's why insulating your environment is very important, which is another strong key to success. Insulate your relationships and your environment.

Nika Lawrie:

I think it also helps, too, going, you know, consciously aware of what you're thinking and when you're thinking it, or why. It's more work to look at the positive side, but it's so much more beneficial. And so I think if you're really consciously aware of why you're thinking the way you're thinking and what's causing that, it helps you shift to that positive side.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

Yeah, I actually was reading a book that said that anthropologically literally, our brains are wired to see the negative from our Paleolithic ancestors because they oftentimes were the hunted.

Nika Lawrie:

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

And they never knew when they were going to get their next meal. Yeah, exactly, and they never knew when they were going to get their next meal, and so that's where the innate negativity came from. But I want your listeners to understand that doesn't have to be the dominant pattern.

Nika Lawrie:

You can shift that when you use meditation as that tool. I mean, how does the meditation work for you? Is this something that you're doing for an hour on end? Is this something that you do kind of just briefly in the moment, in the mornings? What does that really look like for you?

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

It's all over the place.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

It depends on the day. If I'm traveling, I can meditate literally in five minutes and get myself into kind of that state and clear my mind. But I've been doing it a while. But I tell people, look, if all you can do is meditate for five minutes, it's better than nothing. Yeah, absolutely. And then there's sometimes my sweet spot is between 20 minutes and 30 minutes and then, as I mentioned to you earlier, before we got on, you know I'll do a meditative retreat and spend two days, you know, meditating. It's all over the place.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

But the point being is, the power of meditation takes you through different levels of consciousness and you want to get to what's called theta consciousness, which is just above sleep. So just as you're in bed you're kind of falling off. That's theta. That's when the mind is at its most suggestive state. You want to get to that and then begin to wire the brain and think in positive terms when you're at that. So maybe you're focusing on, you know, maybe you're thinking of love that day, or you're thinking of happiness, or whatever the case may be, it literally begins to shift how your brain wires and what that means is when you have a thought, the brain fires from one nerve to another, and the more it fires using that link, it creates new bonds and that becomes the dominant thought.

Nika Lawrie:

And then the old one break off bonds and that becomes the dominant thought and then the old break off. I think that's. I think it's such a powerful tool. Tool also in the sense of I know, when I've been in those kind of moments for meditating, that I've gotten answers to kind of questions I've had in the sense of you know if I'm trying to figure out what direction to go in in, you know whether it's my business or if I'm struggling with something, with a relationship or something like that. I found that when you clear your mind and you kind of just have that emptiness, that those answers innately come to you, and so it's a useful tool in that sense too for someone who feels kind of lost or chaotic maybe.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

It's so true, and it brings me back to one of my favorite sayings from Dr Wayne Dyer. He said God speaks in only one language, and that language is silence.

Nika Lawrie:

I love that yes.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

Inspiration comes when you quiet and that's why I think I've said it now four or five times you got to quiet the noise externally and internally. We live in a constant environment, most people and even our home. We've got to be really diligent with it. Turn off the TV, just my wife and I we'll get up in the morning and we'll spend an hour together, reading, just in quiet, together, being comfortable with that.

Nika Lawrie:

Yeah, it takes a while to get used to, but I think it's such a powerful thing once you've done it. I know one of the best things that I ever did for myself. I removed social media from my phone. I still use it as a tool for my business, but I don't use it as any type of entertainment, and I also turned off the majority of the notifications on my phone, so I don't know when emails come through or the news apps and things like that aren't dinging me, and that alone has given me so much more space from the chaos that it's allowed me the freedom to kind of breathe and think and really remove a lot of stress and anxiety from my life as well.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

Nika, that's a brilliant recommendation, oh thanks. No, I hope your listeners follow, because I've done that as well too, and you know we're being conditioned by, you know this little handheld device, because they want our attention. The question is do you own your mindset or does someone else?

Nika Lawrie:

Right, and we've. We've handed so much of that power over to complete strangers these apps, these phones that we have no idea how they're programming or what they're doing, and I think it's really our responsibility to take back our time, our mental health, our wellbeing, all of those kinds of things.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

I had a client ask me yesterday. She said uh, my seven-year-old asked me for a phone. She goes what do I do? I said don't you dare.

Nika Lawrie:

Yeah.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

And the reason I said that is mainly Nika, because a seven-year-old is not emotionally intelligent enough to handle that that device holds. You know what I mean. And then there's the physical development, the radiation. Now a child, at seven years old, their cranium is not fully developed, so it's easier for that radiation to penetrate their skull and impact their brains. It's one of the theories and some say it's not a theory why there's been such a major increase in brain cancers over the last decade or so.

Nika Lawrie:

Yeah, actually, just yesterday, the Environmental Working Group just released an email talking about a research project that came in, relating it to breast cancer, along with brain tumors, and there was another one, another medical condition they listed too. I'm drawing a blank on it, but they really are starting to link these things to serious health issues, and so, you know, the suggestion right now well, more research needs to be done is to try to remove some of that from our lives. You know, keep the TVs off, take some time away from the computer screen. You know, not be on the cell phone or the iPad all the time as well.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

I interviewed a doctor from Henderson Nevada who's an expert in environmental toxins, and he talked about insulating your home from EMS electromagnetic, because most people have wireless now. So it's around, and now we're adding 5G, which is so much more powerful and very controversial. So my answer to her was absolutely not. And then, of course, the response is well, if I need to get a hold of them in an emergency, I'll have someone. You know, every generation previously never had that and they were just fine.

Nika Lawrie:

Right, yeah, funny story. I was at the post office yesterday and there was an older lady. She was in her late 80s and she was talking about how she doesn't have a computer or a cell phone. And one of the other people in the post office said well, what happens if you break down? And she's like I'll just wave my hand and ask for someone to help. And it was such a simple thing. And everyone's like oh yeah, you can do that.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

What's funny is, ironically and sadly, is we've never been more connected but more distant at the same time.

Nika Lawrie:

Yeah, absolutely. It's really heartbreaking how it's changed our community and our culture socially, just the connection and really the disconnection that we have with each other. People don't communicate anymore, they don't talk anymore we have with each other.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

People don't communicate anymore, they don't talk anymore and as to add, to your point.

Nika Lawrie:

I believe that all success in life and business is based on relationships. Absolutely yes.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

Totally agree. Build great relationships by communicating and, more importantly, being a great listener.

Nika Lawrie:

you're going to have a tough time a great listener, you're going to have a tough time. Yeah. Yeah, I totally agree, and I think it's a skillset that's learned from that one-on-one personal social interaction. You don't learn that skillset by leaving a comment on a post on social media.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

No, you can never get the full impact of communication in a two-dimensional fashion when communication is three-dimensional, because we know only 7% of communication is verbal.

Nika Lawrie:

Absolutely so, Jay. With that, I have one more question for you, but since we're talking about communication and connecting, how can the listeners connect with you? How can they get involved with some of the projects that you're working on?

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

Well, I appreciate that, Thank you. So our podcast is called Power, Passion, Prosperity with Dr J. It's on all podcast platforms and you can reach me. I always like to get my email address Again, transparency, If you have questions. From things we talked about today. It's really simple. It's drj D-R-J-A-Y at trippleplifecom and my commitment always is to respond within 24 hours and there you can find links to our podcast, to our blogs. A new event we've got coming up at the end of January, which is our virtual kickoff. We're doing our Triple P Life virtual kickoff summit with some great speakers, really about the stuff you and I spoke about today People who started their January journey or 21 journey to help them expedite that journey. People, maybe, who are starting to struggle or maybe are completely lost. It's for those people, so there's a link there that they can find if they want to attend it with us and it's going to be wonderful.

Nika Lawrie:

Perfect. I'll make sure I link to everything in the show notes as well, just to make it easy as possible. Yeah so, jay, my last question for you today. Well, before I get to that, I first just want to acknowledge you for the work that you're doing and the impact that you're making. I think you know especially just the, the idea that you live wanting to help people become healthy and work on their wellness and just live a joy filled, prosperous life. I think that's such a powerful thing and that kind of service is so, so needed and so important. So I want to recognize you for that and just say thank you.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

Thank you. It pains me to see people being in pain. It doesn't need to be.

Nika Lawrie:

Yeah, I feel the same way. I feel absolutely the same way. So, jay, my last question for you is what advice do you have for someone who wants to make change either in their life, in their community or around the world?

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

Well, I'll down to five things. Number one live in service of others. Nothing better than helping other people on their journey. You know, when it's all said and done, all the stuff is put away or sold or thrown away. The only thing that's left is the memory and the impact you left on other people's lives. So live a life in service of others. Two is pursue your passion. We talked about that early. Three is do what you love and if you can find someone to pay you to do it, awesome.

Nika Lawrie:

Even better. Yeah, yeah.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

I also mentioned this before, too is learn to unconditionally love yourself. To me, this is one of the crisis in our country right now, because if you truly love yourself, you're not going to act and behave in manners in which we're seeing act out all around our country, because when you love and respect you, you're going to give that to other people as well, too, absolutely. And then, finally, we all need to take care of ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Nika Lawrie:

Do some every day to work on those three things. I think just not feeling guilty about prioritizing yourself and your health is such an important thing to keep in mind as well. That, you know, goes back to what you said if we're healthy and and happy and well taken care of, we can do that for other people too I agree.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

Can I quickly touch on that point?

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

yeah, absolutely so that is such a powerful point you just made, I don't want it to just gloss over it. You have to take care of you first before you take care of others. You know what I mean? I can't effectively help someone either a coach, whatever it might be if I haven't invested the time to help take care of myself. That's why I said in the last thing invest time each and every day in those three things, because once you do, then you can effectively help somebody in a much more impactful manner.

Nika Lawrie:

Yeah, definitely. You just have the mental stamina, you have the physical energy that you need, you have the excitement and the passion because you feel good. And I think that is something that's really missed often by our society and kind of just people in general. And I know from just a female perspective. It can be really hard too, because we have so much added pressure of feeling like we have to be the mom to everybody, when it can be hard for us to kind of find that time and we often feel guilty about it. So really making that mindset shift is really important.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

When you take the time and invest in you, you're being an incredible example to your children and showing them how important it is to work on you, so you should never feel guilty about that.

Nika Lawrie:

Very, very good point. That's very powerful. Well, jay, thank you so much for your time and your information and just the knowledge and resources you've shared today. I think this is such a powerful episode and super important for people to hear, so thank you.

Dr. Jay LaGuardia:

My pleasure and I wish you nothing but joy, happiness and prosperity for you and your listeners in 2021.

Nika Lawrie:

Oh well, right back at you. I feel the same way.

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